05/08/2025 sometimes i wonder what even the point is. the world is falling apart, apart, apart. sometimes i'm scared i won't get the chance to see everything i want to see before things will turn really shit. and at the moment i simply can't just leave everything behind, even less than i could have 2 years ago.

03/08/2025: the heat is killing me i really despise this weather, where you can't even go outside and nature is burning away. today i almost died, especially in our concrete cities the heat is unbearable, only in tree shades you can survive. please, temperatures between 20 and 30, thats all i ask.

02/08/2025: korean chart reading I like astrology sort of as a selfdiscoery tool and i also find some of the pop astrology takes quite funny. While western astrology is reliant on stars and planets in east asia it is more related to time. Originally i just saw a random social media video. Now i read a lot about Saju (korean), about heavenly stems, earthly branches, Yin (Eum) and Yang. From what i gathered my day master (day heavenly stem) is Yin-Water (gentle rain / mist), which stands for introversion and emotion (specifically i am a black mist/water snake, which is intuitive and intelligent?) but i have quite heavy earth energy in the rest of my chart (stability), which is in contrast to my Yin Core. I have more Yang than Yin, but it is already quite balanced and with my Yin core i'd say i'm what people sometimes call an ambivert.

31/07/2026 today i got great news. february next year i can start my master thesis in a research group that actually excites me. i will work with enzymes, do enzyme and strain engineering and hopefully contribute to the carbon cycle (instead of climate-damaging linear carbon usage). until then i will hopefully get another opportunity to work in a lab more related to plant biochemistry, but i still have to get in contact with them, as this is sort of spontanious. other than that, god knows why i'm doing this instead of working/sleeping, but it is so fun (and challenging).